The gift of surrender

In our world when we hear the word surrender, it sounds like you just give up and throw in the towel. But let me tell you this simple act changed my life. In this context what do I mean by the word surrender...

This means in our life when we are trying to force something to go our way but no matter what we do, it just isn't happening- this is when I learned to surrender. Yes, unfortunately, I am a stubborn individual has to learn these lessons the hard way i.e. random bursts of crying, random bursts of rage bubbling to the surface, and of course, numbing out eating my feelings.

I always believed in God, and I never really was attached to a story about my life. I didn't care what job I did, I didn't really care how much money I'd make, but I did want to fall in love live a Disney fairy tale on Earth and be married to my best friend and die together at the exact same time like The Notebook. (I don't think that's asking for too much) … Okay I have to admit the last one was a little bit of a dramatization, but having a little loving tribe of weirdos who support and protect each other would be pretty cool. But when this didn't go in the way my mind concocted it to be I was pretty devastated.

I surrendered to God. I would just talk aloud like I was talking to myself, in the privacy of my own home. Honestly this technique totally makes me sound crazy, but I truly loved it. I would ask for God for direction, help, guidance, I would sort out the past so I could look at situations differently and see other people's perspectives. Sometimes I'd be angry, sometimes I'd be sad, but after every time I did it a sense of calming presence like everything will be okay would come over me.

Surrendering became a frequent practice for me, especially when I was venturing into the unknown. It was the only remedy I found to soothe my humbling moments where my pride was destroyed, and I had to let go of what other people thought of me. It allowed me to connect with something Higher than myself. It also brought me closer to God, it allowed me to appreciate the people, and the world around me. What is surrendering exactly: to me surrendering is the act of letting go of the outcome and trusting God's Divine Path.

The act of surrendering is relying on a Higher Force outside of you to surrender your worries, anxieties, fears, and disappointments. It's trusting that I may not understand why I went through this situation right now but eventually it will all make sense. It's the act of letting go of attachment to outcomes and surrendering to your heart's desires. It's believing in a life that regret doesn't exist because you know everything is working out for the best. It's realizing you have the innate ability to create the future you desire by placing your faith in something unseen. It's cultivating self love and compassion by giving yourself grace by being present rather than trying to be "perfect."

I like to think of this scenario: Just imagine doing a puzzle and you found a piece that looks like it goes in the spot but it doesn't fit just right, if you force it, it sort of fits. But you don't have the puzzle complete to see the big picture not realizing that puzzle piece fits better somewhere else. God sees the big picture. So rather than sitting there and trying to force this piece to fit there, you move on to another section of the puzzle. In other words, you simply surrender, let it go, and pivot to a new course of action. This process is much easier said than done but it all depends on your internal resistance to surrendering and how much attachment one has to a desired outcome. On the other side of attachment and control is liberation, appreciation, and release. When we surrender we begin to smile because things happen rather than be sad that it ended.

The act of surrending is the foundation of all wisdom. It's realizing you don't have all the answers, and finding genuine confidence by validating oneself rather than seeking outside fulfillment. It's venturing into the unknown and knowing you'll be okay regardless of the outcome.